The Franchise Factory: A Sequel Saga

December 19, 2024
corporate?
In the sprawling universe of ‘Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice’, it feels like we’re watching a corporate meeting instead of a movie. The characters are merely pawns on a board, shuffled around to create buzz for the next big franchise entry. It’s like a forced team-building exercise where the icebreakers are just explosions and CGI. The emotional stakes are reduced to a checklist: ‘Does it lead to a Justice League film?’ Spoiler: it does, but at what cost? Who knew superhero films could be this...
— Sam
Bring on the merchandise.
‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ is less a continuation of a beloved saga and more a nostalgia cash grab. It’s as if someone took a focus group and turned it into a script, regurgitating everything we loved without adding anything fresh. Rey is the new hero, but what about character arcs? They seem to be on sabbatical while fan service runs rampant. So, we’re left watching a film that feels like a greatest hits album with no new tracks.
— Jess
More sequels, less substance.
When ‘Jurassic World’ stomped into theaters, it felt like we were witnessing a theme park ride instead of a cohesive story. Dinosaurs as a backdrop for a corporate retreat! Characters are simply along for the ride, existing to make room for the next dino-sized sequel. It’s a buffet of nostalgia garnished with a side of mediocrity. Each roar is a desperate shout to keep the franchise alive, but at what narrative cost?
— Alex
Just transform and roll out.
‘Transformers: Age of Extinction’ is like watching a multi-billion dollar ad for plastic robots. The plot? What plot? It's just a collection of explosions strung together like a series of Instagram stories. Character development is sacrificed on the altar of spectacle, making way for shiny new toys. The audience becomes a captive demographic, eagerly waiting for the next shiny thing. Who cares about a coherent story when there are more robots to market?
— Sam
More films, less magic.
In ‘The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey’, we’re treated to a sprawling epic that feels like a prequel to a prequel. It’s as if Peter Jackson decided to stretch a short story into three bloated films, all while winking at the audience for future spin-offs. Characters come and go without making a lasting impact, like extras in a commercial. The world-building becomes a chore, as if we’re being shown a PowerPoint presentation on Middle-earth. The charm of the original trilogy is lost in the shuffle of endless setup.
— Jess
More spin-offs, less wonder.
‘Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald’ is a convoluted mess that serves as a reminder of how far the Harry Potter franchise has strayed. Each character feels like they were pulled from a hat, hastily thrown together with little thought for chemistry. The plot twists and turns like a pretzel, leaving audiences dizzy and confused. It’s all setup for a sequel that feels like a chore, not a thrill. The magic is gone, replaced with a checklist of franchise requirements.
— Alex
More villains, less depth.
With ‘The Amazing Spider-Man 2’, we saw the epitome of sequel fatigue—an overstuffed narrative that feels more like a trailer for future films. It’s as if someone took every spider-themed idea and tossed it in a blender. The villains are more like placeholders for future storylines than actual threats. Character arcs are left hanging like webs in the breeze, neglected and forgotten. Instead of a cohesive narrative, we get a buffet of half-baked ideas.
— Sam
More sequels, less soul.
‘Avengers: Age of Ultron’ is a prime example of a film that’s less about the story and more about the setup for the next phase. It’s like a corporate retreat for superheroes, complete with obligatory team-building exercises. The stakes feel lower than a superhero’s spandex, with endless bickering among characters who should be united. Each scene feels like a teaser for something bigger, leaving audiences wanting but unsatisfied. The heart of the story is buried under a mountain of CGI.
— Jess
More nostalgia, less originality.
‘Ghostbusters: Answer the Call’ tries to carry the torch of a classic while feeling like a commercial for a new franchise. It’s a reboot that lacks the wit and charm of the original, opting instead for a hodgepodge of references. The humor is forced, like a bad improv session that never quite lands. Characters exist to set up potential spin-offs rather than to tell a meaningful story. It’s less about ghostbusting and more about franchise-busting.
— Alex
More robots, less humanity.
In ‘Pacific Rim: Uprising’, we’re treated to a sequel that feels less like a continuation of a story and more like a desperate plea for relevance. The Jaegers are back, but where’s the soul? It’s a chaotic mashup of robots fighting monsters without any stakes. The characters are mere avatars for the next big toy line, devoid of depth or development. It’s a giant mech suit that’s lost its heart, replaced by corporate ambitions.
— Sam
More action, less coherence.
‘Kingsman: The Golden Circle’ takes everything we loved about the first film and cranks it up to an absurd level. It’s like a party where everyone is invited, but no one knows why. The plot twists are so over-the-top that they lose all sense of realism, becoming a parody of itself. Characters are more like caricatures, existing only to set up the next outrageous scene. Instead of a cohesive narrative, we get a runaway train of ridiculousness.
— Jess
More nostalgia, less clarity.
‘The Matrix Resurrections’ attempts to revive a beloved franchise but ends up drowning in its own mythology. It’s like watching a reunion where no one remembers the script. Each nod to the original feels like a forced callback rather than a meaningful connection. The story meanders like a lost traveler, never quite finding its way back home. Instead of a thrilling continuation, we’re left with a confusing labyrinth.
— Alex